Many courts and mediators recommend that couples try counseling before taking the final step toward divorce in Illinois. Although counseling helps many individuals grow in their personal lives, getting the wrong type or incomplete counseling services can harm couples heading for divorce along with their children. What types of scenarios are detrimental to the divorce process?
Some people misuse counseling
Not everyone is honest when they enter counseling to avoid divorce or to make the process easier. Instead of trying to work through their emotional difficulties and understand the reason for splitting up, some people use individual counseling to blame their partner and not take any responsibility for their own behavior. Such situations become magnified when a counselor joins in the blame game. In other cases, one of the spouses will lie to the counselor in an attempt to gain control of the problem and persuade the couple’s children to side with them.
Couple counseling can become unproductive if one of the spouses has a personality disorder and won’t take responsibility during the sessions. This situation only reinforces the feeling of helplessness that one partner may feel. Counseling for children and teens can help a couple’s offspring work through their emotions that they are not responsible for their parents’ split. However, when one parent tries to use counseling to take their side in the divorce, it only serves to reinforce the dysfunctional family dynamic.
Protecting your rights during divorce
The process of dissolving a marriage can become complex, especially if both partners have considerable assets and several children are involved. How you act during the divorce can affect child custody issues and make property division a long, drawn-out process. Using counseling to get what you want could cost you more money in the long run.
Alienating behaviors, intensely upset emotional encounters and a litany of negative comments will only worsen a difficult situation. While you need to protect your interests, you also must protect the interests of any children you may have. Make sure your counseling situation is productive for everyone involved.
