Illinois parents who go through a divorce know how difficult it can be for them and their children. Things become even more difficult when the children blame one parent for the end of the marriage. If you find yourself dealing with this type of a situation, keep these tips in mind.
Actively listen
It’s not uncommon for children involved in a divorce to lash out at one or both of their parents. If your children blame you for “ruining their lives,” don’t respond defensively. Instead, actively listen to the things that they feel and the emotions that they’re processing.
Don’t play the blame game
Depending on the circumstances of the end of your marriage, your ex may be completely at fault for the divorce. In those cases, it’s easy to respond to your children by telling them that the marriage actually ended because of their other parent. Resist that urge and don’t try to divert the blame to your ex.
Share your heart
In many cases, divorcees are not happy that their marriage ended, even if it was necessary for everyone involved. Don’t be afraid to be real with your children, letting them know that you also regret that things ended the way they did. While you don’t want to place your emotional baggage on your kids, they need to know that you’re hurting too.
Reassure your kids
One of the most important aspects of parenting is comforting your children, even when you’re not sure how things will work out. Your kids, especially if they are young, need to hear a parent tell them that everything will be alright. Be a stabilizing force in your child’s life.
It’s not uncommon for kids and teens to lash out after a divorce. Knowing how to deal with a child who blames you is an important part of holding your family together.
