If you’re considering getting a divorce in Illinois, you’ll probably see or hear lots of statistics. One statistic you might not know about comes from a renowned doctor named John Gottman. This doctor claims that four behaviors can predict divorce with 93% accuracy.
One of the most common divorces predictors is when married couples speak with contempt. This behavior often comes in the form of calling each other names, being overly sarcastic and mocking your spouse.
There is nothing wrong with letting your spouse know your feelings. Sometimes, people can take their opinions to the extreme and needlessly criticize their spouses. Criticism typically involves attacking your spouse’s appearance, beliefs or other personal topics. Instead of coming from a helpful place, criticizing is more like verbally attacking another person.
Being overly defensive
As married couples potentially head toward divorce, both parties can become defensive. Someone usually acts defensive when they assume a person is being overly critical. While the defensive person might feel like they are in the right, this behavior can shock their spouse.
When communicating or even being around your spouse is too much, you might stonewall or disengage with them. Disengagement occurs when married couples stop spending time around each other. This form of disengagement can cause someone to spend more time with friends and family instead of their spouses. It’s also common for disengaged married couples to stop speaking with or even looking at each other.
No marriage is perfect. If you or your spouse display some or all these signs, that’s not to say this marriage must end. Instead, these are signs that things between you and your spouse need work.